How do you recognise it?
We often relate it to feeling like a fraud, despite being intelligent, skilled, capable people deserving of praise, success or accolades we allow ourselves to think we’re not good enough which manifests itself in a fear of being found out and because we feel this way we often put unrealistic targets on ourselves such as not being able to fail or tell ourselves that the things we have achieved are ‘just luck’ or not a big deal, but here’s the thing, ‘you’re kind of a big deal’ and allowing yourself to think otherwise is damaging to your confidence and growth both in career and as a person.
Common Feelings Associated With Imposter Syndrome
- Finding it hard to accept praise
- Apologising when you didn’t do anything wrong
- Setting impossibly high standards for yourself
- Fear of failure
- Holding back confidence for fear of what others will think
- Feeling you are not enough
- Feeling you got lucky when in reality you have worked hard/prepared well or planned to make your achievements happen.
How can you manage these negative feelings?
Talk About It
We’re going straight in with the big guns and you may feel that this is a huge step but we guarantee that you have someone else in your network who is feeling the same way and talking about how you feel with someone else and recognising you are not alone will go a huge way towards managing your own negative feelings. Start small – try looking for someone who is talking about Imposter Syndrome on LinkedIn and comment on their post or talk to a trusted friend.
Why do you feel it?
It’s likely you don’t feel like an imposter all the time so when you do it’s important to address why is that? And is it just ‘normal’ to feel that way? In situations where we may feel out of our depth and that we can’t do something or we’re not worthy of being there in the first place, try and reframe your thoughts to address that just because you think something, it doesn’t make it a reality.
Allow yourself to fail and learn from it
We all fail. That’s life, it’s how we deal with failure that shapes us. For those suffering with Imposter, Syndrome failure is often thought of as ‘not an option which makes it all the harder to take when it does happen. Allowing yourself to fail is actually pretty powerful because you’re taking control of the situation and saying to yourself if I fail, I will learn from this and I will take those learnings forward into the next thing I do.
Ask For Help
Allow yourself to seek help when you need it, tell yourself that you don’t have to do everything alone and you don’t have to know everything. These are often rules we set ourselves when we are feeling like we don’t deserve our place but it’s important to recognise that you have as much right as anyone to be wrong or to need help.
Be Kind and Reward Yourself
Change the way you talk to yourself in your head. Negative self-talk is a huge barrier to overcoming Imposter Syndrome and working towards changing this is a huge step in managing those feelings of fraud. Practice positive self-talk, talk to yourself like you would a colleague or friend – you’d never let them say they were rubbish at something, so don’t allow that talk about yourself. Likewise reward yourself for your achievements, if your team have a great week – but that project isn’t quite finished yet, you wouldn’t focus on the latter, rather you’d say ‘ Great Job!’ – do the same for yourself. You’re worth it.