Making confidence an intentional choice #MoreThan1in4

Whether you’re currently looking to grow in your current role, or working to land your first leadership position, or maybe even go solo… Confidence is something you should intentionally look to nurture for yourself to ensure you step into every situation as your best self.

Whilst ‘feeling confident’ is something that might come easier to some, that doesn’t mean it’ll always be present for anyone at any given time. So how can you be consistently more confident in your life and career? I believe the answer is easier than you’d think: Instead of hoping to become confident, choose to be. But what does it take to make this decision?

IDENTIFYING GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES WHILST RECOGNISING LIMITING BELIEFS

Ah, the good old Impostor Syndrome. The name makes it almost sound like there’s something wrong with us. Whereas, those limited beliefs are just your mind telling you that you’re nervous and unsettled because you’re growing, which is a beautiful thing. So celebrate the uncomfortable feeling of not feeling exactly up to it and choose to be confident in your ability to learn – even if it might feel incredibly scary and hard at that precise moment.

CELEBRATING YOUR FAILURES

Easier said than done, especially when you’re going through these ‘failures’. Be it a job rejection, a missed promotion, a bad review.. whatever you’re considering to be a failure, it’s probably a huge learning opportunity that will ultimately contribute to making you a more confident person and professional (even if it might suck at that precise moment!). So whenever possible, allow yourself to act with the ingenuity of a child who tries new things without the fear of failing. As we grow, we become more conscious and aware of the repercussions of failure – or what we think those are – so we tend to avoid putting ourselves in those situations to avoid losing confidence. However, confidence also means translating those tough moments into ‘learning’, which means your “skills armour” and experiences are getting stronger and stronger. Be confident enough to seek situations that make you feel less confident, because that’s exactly what’ll help you grow and become more confident with uncomfortable situations. Which brings me to my next point..

ACTIVELY SEEKING “THAT UNCOMFORTABLE FEELING”

Becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable is one of the toughest things anyone can do. Our brain fights us against it because it’s warning us of a potential ‘danger’. However, like all things – the more you do it, the more “feeling uncomfortable” becomes comfortable. Isn’t that funny? So put yourself out there, take that challenge, say yes or no more (depending on what feels most uncomfortable!), treasure valuable feedback and reflect on what every new uncomfortable situation is gifting you with. Then add it to your Confidence bank.

IDENTIFYING YOUR MOST CONFIDENT MOMENTS AKA YOUR STATE OF FLOW 

As your level of confidence fluctuates, pay attention to the moments when you’re feeling fully confident: what are you doing in those moments? Who’s around you? What tasks are you completing? What skills are you using? What is the work you’re doing aimed at? Generally, whenever we leverage our strengths we inherently find ourselves in a state of flow that makes us feel more confident, accomplished, purposeful. It is therefore very important taking some time to explore your values and identify your key strengths as these will become your guiding light to keep building on that confidence. This doesn’t generally come natural and you’ll have to intentionally reflect and – perhaps – journal about it.

FIND A MENTOR THAT CAN HELP YOU BRING YOUR CONFIDENT SELF FORWARD

Interestingly, there are many studies that show how Confidence in Women is perceived compared to Confidence in Men, which is defined as the Confidence Gap. This is also mentioned in this great article by Velera Wilson. However, it is also renowned that confidence is a key ingredient to grow and progress in the workplace. One of the best ways to grow your confidence is to find a mentor who can share their advice and experience with you, as well as who can build you up and grow your confidence. Never underestimate the power of having your own support system to help you feel and be more confident!

Ultimately, Confidence isn’t necessarily about showing more assertiveness or authority. Whilst having people buy-in and respect is essential as you progress in your career, true confidence also transpires also in the ability to say when you don’t know or understand something, as well as in changing your mind when put in front of other evidence you weren’t aware about. It might sound like an oxymoron, but I am a huge fan of humble confidence! 

I hope these suggestions will help you make Confidence the only option you give yourself  – so instead of hoping to become confident one day, you can choose to be straight away!